Phone Addiction
by scuderia tifosi
Summary: Mabel has a text addiction. A parody of a couple of scenes in The Amazing World Of Gumball's The Phone. Set post-finale.
**All trademarks and rights belong to their respective owners.**

Mabel had recently won an iPad in a raffle. She somehow obtained an iPhone app, allowing her to use the tablet as a smartphone. The sight of her holding the oversized phone made her a peculiar sight in Piedmont, nearby Oakland, the whole of Alemeida County and the entire east side of the San Francisco Bay Area. Only someone as demented and eccentric as her could pull it off and get away with it.

One fall afternoon, in a Piedmont middle school, a thirteen year-old male seventh-grader was seen looking into his locker. He was brunette, and wore a grey-brown lumberjack-style cap, a navy blue hooded vest with an orange-red shirt, and a light blue pair of shorts. He was wondering which outfit to wear for the upcoming photo day, while looking at two sets of western style outfits, one exactly like the one he had while in a pinball machine, the other being identical to the one he was depicted in a Choose Your own Adventure gamebook. There was also an adventurer's outfit, just like the one he wore in his fantasy interview by a talk show host named Charlie.

While Dipper was deciding what to wear for the photo shoot, Mabel, who was wearing a blue mouse pointer sweater, ran frantically to him.

"OMG, OMG, UF2HLP!" she exclaimed as she grabbed her twin.

"Mabel, text lingo is for phones. We speak with real words."

"I lost my phone! I was texting in the library, and Mr. Small confiscated it. You have to help me get it back!"

"I'm sorry, but my hands are tied." said Dipper as his sister slid off him.

"Omg, omg, omg, omg, omg..."

Dipper reasoned with Mabel. "What can I do? I can't break school rules."

Mabel started wailing.

"Alright."

She stopped wailing. "Colon, closed bracket!"

Dipper raised an eyebrow, wondering what that meant. Mabel leaned her head onto her right shoulder and made a :). He rolled his eyes as he sighed.

* * *

Later, they were outside the office of Mr. Small, the school counsellor. He was a hippie afflicted with narcolepsy and had a penchant for meditating, thus he would actually doze off while doing so. Dipper slowly opened the door while he was meditating and closed it slowly. He then crawled on the ground so as not to be seen. Mabel looked in from a window. "Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." said Mr. Small, as Dipper reached for Mabel's iPad in a box of confiscated items, which were on Small's desk. There was also a jar of thumbtacks and some incense candles.

"Over there, up a bit, up a bit!" whispered Mabel.

Dipper gave Mabel an annoyed look and whispered back, "I know where your phone is. Just chill out for a second."

He reached for the phone again, but he accidentally tipped the box, which fell and spilt all of its contents, a firecracker among them, and a jar of thumbtacks and a candle, which lighted the firecracker. Mabel recoiled in fear as she whispered, "Dipper, look out, look out!"

Dipper continued groping for the iPad but grabbed the firecracker by mistake. Upon realizing it, he squealed and tossed it at the window, but it bounced off the fixed upper pane and rolled to his feet. Dipper tried desperately to put it out, but to no avail. He ducked and covered his ears.

"Dipper! Behind you! Behind you!" said Mabel and she fainted.

Dipper sat on the cracker in a last-ditch attempt and it exploded. He was surprizingly unscathed, other than the fact that he belched out smoke. The phone started vibrating. Mabel, who had come round, looked through the window again. Mr. Small had started doing his meditation hum again. Dipper reached for the phone, but Mr. Small dozed off and his head slumped over onto the desk and knocked over several candles. One of those rolled over to the curtain and caused it to catch on fire. Dipper opened the file drawer and took out a blank folder to fan out the flame, but it also caught fire. He tossed it in fright, and it spread the fire to the cabinet.

"What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?" He then noticed the fire extinguisher on the wall next to the door, and the phone vibrating on the ground nearby, surrounded by thumbtacks. Dipper made his way past the tacks and grabbed the phone, before going for the extinguisher. He stumbled and lost his balance. He ended up sitting on the tacks and squealed in pain. Mr. Small began to stir. He could wake up at any moment. Mabel waited outside as the door opened while a coughing Dipper backed out while spraying the extinguisher at the fire, filling the office with foam. He dropped the extinguisher in exhaustion and handed the iPad to Mabel. "Thanks." she said and immediately, she replied to the call.

Mr. Small then woke up and gasped at the sight of nothing but foam. Thinking he was in the clouds, he exclaimed, "I've meditated for too long and become one with the universe!"

 **The reason why I kept the counsellor's name as Mr. Small was because I was out of ideas.**

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